"If it says nature called and left a message for Ralph, better answer it!"
-Tim, on barfing

"Mr. Wong was too speedy! He didn't leave me satisfied."
"Hehe, small portions?"
"No, he forgot the white stuff."
"That's all right, Mr. Weatherman more than made up for it this morning!"

"Is that like wheaties for geeks?" - Archon and me

"Riding the cotton pony"

Archpoet66: But weenie!
Archpoet66: Bottle!
Archpoet66: Stuck!
Archpoet66: *snicker*
DoomHaven: It must have been a small weenie
Archpoet66: Hmm? It got stuck...
Archpoet66: That means it's bigger than something. =P
DoomHaven: weenies that don't get stuck
DoomHaven: ?
DoomHaven: man, I mean, they make bottles that I could probably put my weenie into, but technically, those are called "jars".

$cat fuck *blink* *giggle*

Me: So you know how when you've got a bowl of fruit there appear fruit
flies? I think it's the same for kegs.
Angela: Keg flies?

Actually, in medicine, we treat the whole patient, not just a disease. So I don't refer to this as a mere shampoo bottle.It is a shampoo dispenser.


If you were a camel your humps would be esoterically bald from overuse.

"This fly zipper has a mind of it's own!"
"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."
-Me and Mark

"That beat that jiggles my boobies"

"You could mount me the way you mount a hard disk." "How's that?"
"Firmly, with three screws."

-Lucky and me

Do not eat, art project.
-Object in Lizza/Julian's fridge

I think I need to go somewhere secluded to cut the cheese.
-Jane re. cheese for happy hour

Going to use the bathroom. And drain brain of conservative views.

"I am nowhere near my penis right now"

"Tomorrow you're going to have a hangover the size of Texas..."
"I've got a hardon the size of Texas"


Goodbye Mr. Nut
-The movie title site

Grab life by the cock.
-The slogan site

Player skill is hard to code.

If only everything were as easy as the asshole.
-Alex Lee

"You have to watch out for those Zoid types, they can be shifty."

I don't think it hurts, it's just a timely exercise leading to a giant anus.
-Spiderdrake on goat.se.cx

It's not the voices in my head, it's the voices in the fridge.


Besides Jews, they're the most preserved species on Earth.
-Anna on roaches